What I Gave Up for Lent (And It's Not What You Think)

Jesus has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him...

Colossians 1:22

The beginning of a new school year was approaching and I had just been informed of the very challenging student whose name was on my roster. This kid's problems ran the physical and emotional and academic gamut and I was certainly not up to the task of fixing it. 

So I prayed. I walked to their desk and sat in their chair. And I prayed that God would heal it all.

By the year's end I would return to the same spot, and instead of prayers of supplication for this student's healing, I only offered prayers of thanks. Because God did it. 

God healed that child. 

Wide-eyed and in disbelief, I said aloud to the cement walls and florescent lights, "He did it." And then to God, You actually did this thing. That was BIG. An out-right miracle. Why did you do it?

And then came the answer, so simple and so clear:

Because you asked Me to, beloved.

Because I had asked Him to.

Why do I so easily forget that The God of Angel Armies is on my side? Why do I so easily forget His great love for me and His willingness to fight on my behalf?

It's because, even after all these years of this Jesus-Walk of mine, I still listen to the lies. The lies that make me feel less than and not good enough. The lies that Satan whispers in my ear:

You're not good enough for Him.

You don't do things well enough for Him.

You're not worthy to approach Him.

(Never doubt for a second I don't appreciate the irony of God's enemy saying such things about Him to me.)

I realize, even with all of my grace talk for others, I'm still trying to be good enough for God. I'm still striving for perfection and beating myself up for when (surprise!) I don't achieve it.

So with these thoughts in mind, I gave something up for Lent this year:

I'm giving up not being good enough. I'm giving up seeing God as Someone who is angry with me when I fail at perfection. 

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

Romans 8:31-34

Maybe you need this reminder, too. The reminder that your perfection isn't needed. That God isn't mad at you. That God has chosen you for His own. Romans 8:33 declares that no one can accuse us. In fact, it says who would dare accuse us? Do we realize this includes our own selves? 

I'm so tired of accusing myself before my Father. Because when I accuse myself I'm saying that I believe the blood price Jesus paid on the cross isn't good enough. 

Instead, when I approach His throne, I will stand on Colossians 1:22. I will remind myself that Jesus paid for my imperfections and that when I stand before my Father He sees me as holy and blameless. Holy and blameless, y'all. Not no-good and not-good-enough. To Him, cloaked in the righteousness of Jesus, I am worthy. 

We would do well to remember who we are, dear ones. We are the beloved daughters of God, who hears us and keeps us and adores us. Listen to me as I claim these truths over you:

Dear One, God is for you, not against you. He didn't spare His own Son's life for you, so He will not spare any other good thing when it comes to you. No one can accuse you before God because He has made you His own. You have right standing with Him. No one can condemn you. Because Jesus Christ died for you and was raised back to life for you. In this very moment He sits at God's right hand, a place of high honor, and speaks to God on your behalf. 

If that doesn't make you worthy, well, by golly, I don't know what does. 

This Lent, let's practice self-denial. Let's deny ourselves the the feelings of shame and guilt. And instead let's body approach our Father, like the holy and blameless children we are. 

Follow the Leader

Today, dear friend, we're going to dig deep. We're going to dig into places that hurt to look at. We're going to talk about "the S Word." 

Sin.

Let's agree right now that we will be open to confession today. No holier-than-thou, I don't have those kind of problems attitude. Because if you said that to my face I would say, I don't believe you. 

Because we're all human and, everybody's got their something, right?

Sin is difficult to admit and even more difficult to stop. Sin can become ingrained in our brains and become part of who we are. Sin can be easy to sweep under the rug and kept secret from even those closest to us. But if you're willing, God will shed light on how to be free from sin and the shame that accompanies it. 

Before we start today, will you pray with me? 

Dear Father, we come before you today with repentant hearts, knowing we are in need of Jesus and His great gift of salvation to cover our sins. God, I pray that as we walk through this lesson we will feel neither guilt nor shame, but the love-covering of your discipline and the hope that your Spirit will change our ways. Amen.

Let's go to Galatians 5. We're going to cover verses 16-25:

16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

²⁵ If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

This list filled with sinful, human nature is brutal. There are some pretty low-dow and cringe-worthy sins listed here. And whatever your particular brand of sin happens to be, God knows it. So let's not turn away in shame or try to hide it from Him. Because God? He's got your number. So let's just agree to be honest with Him. Here's the great thing about any sin on this list (and even those not on it): YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY HUMAN TO EVER COMMIT THIS SIN. Y'all, it's made a list. And we know that all things that make a Top Ten list are pretty common. We know that if Paul, the author of this letter, thought it wise to make a list of these particular sins then he had good reason. 

There are Christians past, present, and future the world over who have committed these sins. You are not alone. But the strength in numbers argument doesn't hold up well here. Sin is still wrong and damaging and God doesn't want us to stay in this muck and mire. He wants us delivered from it. So let's get started.

Take a glance back to verse 25. As counter-intuitive as it seems a great way to absorb this passage is to start at the end. 

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Or, shall we read it as Since the Holy Spirit lives in us, let's do what He says. Let's follow the Leader. He'll take us where we want to go.

And hopefully, where we want to go is away from our sin and into the perfect future God has planned for us. 

Galatians clearly says that when I am in Jesus my flesh has been crucified. Even though I still struggle to always do right, the Spirit that lives inside me desires drastically different things than my flesh. When the Spirit is inside me and I am taking His lead I produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control. 

Conquering the sin inside us is no easy task. And it's something that we can't do alone. We must yield to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to do the heart-changing work inside us. The only way to conquer the flesh is to call on the Holy Spirit and ask His power to defend us, empower us, and create new, godly character inside of us. We follow the Leader and we follow Him into death - death to self and death to sin. 

My friend, let's uncover the sin we've been living in. Let's bring it to light. Admit it to God and let Him allow the Holy Spirit to do life-changing work in us. This healing may be done in a moment, but most likely, it will be done in a series of moments, one by one turning over fleshly desires and asking, Spirit, help me. Guard me. Empower me. 

The flesh asks us to walk into deep, dark, bottomless pits of self-inflicted injury. It asks us to cover up hurts with bandaids that make us feel good for a second and then full of shame for days. The flesh will lead you to no place that is godly or good. 

But the Spirit. Ah, the Spirit is a Leader who wants abundance for us. He wants to give us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. He wants to lead us to green pastures and still waters. Don't follow the flesh into sin and shame. 

Follow the Leader who loves you.

It's Time to Shine

When I was younger, in my early 20s, each day I would drive to work and pray, "God, please don't let anything bad happen today." Bless my heart, how genuine I was. I worked as a first grade teacher at a Christian school and spent every day giving my all and doing my best to guide those little hearts to Jesus.

But, looking back, I see that I lived in such fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of confrontation, fear of pressure, fear of not having things go my way, fear of terrible things happening to my family and my friends. I was in such fear that I could not even give my day to God. Instead of asking for His perfect path, I asked that He make my way perfect and smooth and carefree.

And safe.

But thank God! He loved me too much to listen to me and my playing-it-safe prayer. In my career and every other facet of my life I have been exposed to the unknown, to confrontation, to pressure, to not having things go my way, and to terrible things happening to myself, my family, and friends.

And I'm so wonderfully glad.

Let me explain. Matthew 5:17 tells us this:

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, 

and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

See, I've discovered my light cannot shine if I'm hiding under the covers. With the shades closed and the door bolted shut. No one can see my light if I'm too afraid to expose it. I've found that my greatest times of witness of Jesus Christ have been borne from incredibly, horrifying, broken moments. I've found that my God-given talents, when exposed to scrutiny and pressure, in these times, they shine the brightest. 

Friends, our terrible, horrible no good moments are actually gifts from God. They refine us like silver, says Psalm 66:10. He's burning off the no-good, impure, junk that weighs us down. He's making us into the best version of ourselves possible in these bad moments and bad days. We just have to be willing to see it.

I've found a better morning prayer and it's this: Jesus reign today. Show up in all my moments, both good and bad. 

See, as a believer, you've got power residing in you. Holy Spirit power. We just have to claim to access to it. Because when we call on God to show up in our problems, not only do we see He's there, but others see Him, too. The problems you face, ultimately, can be a display for God's goodness and His glory. 

Let's not ask for no problems, let's ask for God to show up in our problems. Let's watch Him move and weave and fix. Let's watch Him turn complete waste into complete wonder. And my dearest, He can do this through your life! Through the smallest issue to the biggest, most devastating problem. Giving Him our problems works for our good and His glory. 

People will notice when you practice handing over your problems to Him. They'll see a light in you and they'll want that light too. They'll see you succeed with confidence and lose with grace. They'll see you glow in the midst of darkness and shine bright in times of light. Not only will you feel loved and secure, but they'll get a glimpse of God. This is where seeds are planted in hearts.

Adversity is nothing when we give it to God. If anything, adversity is our time to shine. 

So tomorrow, let's pray together, God in your wisdom and goodness let your glory shine in me today. I won't hide it in fear. I will stand, exposed, to this world and believe in your good plans for anything that comes my way. 

The Good Shepherd

I had the great privilege of speaking at my home church, Depot Church, for our annual women's conference. I talk about discerning our Shepherd's voice above all the lies of this world. I'd love for you to check it out!

I Don't Want More. I Want Good.

In the beginning, there was nothing. The earth was void and without any substance. There was darkness. But then...

God created light. And it was good.

God created the sky. And it was good. 

God created land and all things green. And it was good.

God created the stars, moon, and sun. And it was good.

God created birds and fish. And it was good.

God created furry animals and less furry people. And it was very good.

What exactly does "good" mean anyway? 

How was dinner? Eh, it was good.

How was the movie? It was good. *shoulder shrug*

How was school? Ummmm...it was good.

In the words of the brilliant Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

When God created the world (the world!) he described his creation as "good". The most magnificent of works and the bible labels them simply as "good".

I think we as a culture want more than good. We want better. We want best! We want awesome and fabulous! And perfect! We want more.

But what happened to just wanting good?

Good means "pleasing or agreeable".

And I don't know about you, but that's what I want from life. Things that are pleasing in the sight of God. Things that are agreeable to him.

We've gotten ourselves into a rut. The rut of striving. Ugh, striving is so hard. I hate striving. But still we strive for more, More, MORE! 

But I don't want more. I want good.

I want the simple, the good. The genuine. The things that come from God alone. Because his goodness is the ultimate. 

The simple goodness of God far surpasses the fabulous, perfectness of the world. We've been called to live higher than the plastic, fabricated, money-grasping, more-seeking spirit of this world. 

We've been called to the good that comes from God. Prayer, friendship, human connection. We've been called to look out windows at a still, white washed world and praise God for snow. We've been called to sit by the fire with our people and talk and play and praise God for humanity. We've been called to get on our knees and worship the God who included us in his plans and purpose.

Wow, these things are so good. So very good. 

Why not, in this new year, stop wanting more? Stop doing more. Stop buying more. Planning more. Worrying more. 

Why don't we just wake up every day and live in the good, simple truth that God has given us good things already? And my only job is to see them, wrap my arms around them, and enjoy them.

Can we stop striving this year? Can we stop yearning for more? Can we just be good with having God's goodness? Oh, because it's there. He has breathed his beautiful goodness into every facet of your life, dear one. 

And he will look down from his heavenly throne and see us enjoying the riches of his goodness and he will say, you guessed it...

It is good.

Girl's Got an Arm

Why is throwing stuff fun? I mean, random, but hang with me here. Launching a stone as far as you can into the pond. Corn hole at a BBQ. Expired eggs into the woods. (No? Just my family?) 

For the record I'm a terrible thrower. Very little force, short trajectory. My childhood neighbor Nathan once tried to teach me the art of throwing. Something about the position of the elbow and the timing of the object leaving your hand. He gave me this lesson as we were throwing gravel from my driveway into a nearby field. Oh, and we were in HIGH SCHOOL while doing this, if it makes this story any cooler. 

But no, I can't throw. No pebbles, no corn hole bags, no rotten eggs, no pieces of gravel. Definitely no three pointers. No no-hitters. No coach came begging me to join the softball team. No old men wearing trucker hats, chewing on pieces of straw in the bleachers watching me on the mound saying, "That girl's got an arm."

So you can see my dilemma when the Bible mandates that I should be throwing some things.  

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7

In real life, you-and-me terms this says to throw all your hard stuff to Jesus, so he can take care of it because he loves you. 

See, I've got some hard stuff in my life right now. Stuff I'm sad over, broken over, and straight up angry over. Things I've cried over, stressed over, tried to out-plan over. 

But it doesn't work. Sometimes there is so much wrong in life that we feel like we can't even make a dent into fixing it. 

And we are so right. There is nothing about the deep messes of life that we can fix. 

But there is Jesus, standing there, saying throw it to me. Let me give it a try. 

And so, this is my new practice. When the junk starts to creep up and I want to manage, worry, or cry, I whisper, Jesus fix it and literally imagine myself lugging a heavy bag of wrong and hard and yuck into his arms. I heave it at him with all the mental force I have and he catches it, gracefully.

We have been bought, beloved. Bought from being a slave to worry and sadness by Jesus' blood on the cross. He not only bore the cross but he wants to bear the weight of what holds us down. We are too weak to keep lugging it around.

So a career in pitching was never to be for me. But this junk that weighs me down? This stuff I can throw. And I will hurl it with such force and gusto that someone standing near could feel it whipping past their face. I will cast my cares into the arms of the Problem Solver, the Way Maker and all who witness this act of trust, this act of faith, this true act of worship will say, "Wow, that girl's got an arm."