I Am Lion. Hear Me Roar.

I took a personality test this week. No, not a quiz on Facebook, but a legit psychologist-made test. This particular test assigns your typical behaviors and responses to four animals: a lion, an otter, a golden retriever, or a beaver.

I'm a lion. Hear me roar.

My strengths? Problem solving, leading, and excelling in competition.

Annnnnd, that's where the compliments end. The lion's weaknesses are many: impatience, too direct, impulsive, insensitive, not a good listener. And my favorite? "Cold-blooded."

Wow.

I also did a series of devotions this week on the Fruits of the Spirit. This morning I read about gentleness.

These two things do not coincide well.

If you're like me you've got some Mama-Lion in you. We see injustice, we fight against it. We see a wrong, we try to right it. There is not a thing wrong with having the boldness of a lion.

So why then does God say we should be gentle when many times I feel nothing of the sort. How can a hurricane be a mist?

My sweet husband is a golden retriever (not literally). He is warm, loyal. A peacemaker. He carries gentleness like a mantle. So does he then carry the Holy Spirit more than I do?

Friend, I'm here to tell you today that we misunderstand what it means to be gentle in the Lord. I Peter 3:4 says, "Your beauty...should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

But, Father, I'm a lion. That Doctor Doolittle test told me so, and quite honestly, I could have told you that without it.

A gentle and quiet spirit is not exactly what we think it is. Let's look at it this way: my spirit is the eternal part of me. It has direct connection with the Holy Spirit. This communion is the catalyst for all the good Kingdom work we do. I show gentleness when I am the first to be compassionate and kind. When I am quick to love and encourage. This may come with a lion's boldness, but it still is evidence of a gentle heart. I show a quiet spirit when I am neither troubled nor scared of an uncertain future. I am not a lion on the attack, but one who sits in peace by the water.

A gentle and quiet spirit is precious in God's sight. Precious, in its original Greek, means "worth a great price." Your spirit's faith in God is worth much to Him. And a God who gave up His only Son knows what a great price is worth.

I was thinking of our bold Biblical counterparts:

Elijah who called fire down from heaven.

Noah who built a boat the size of a cruise ship.

Jacob who wrestled an angel.

Esther who approached a king.

John the Baptist who announced the arrival of the Christ.

Paul who stepped out of darkness and gave his life to the light.

They all had a gentle and quiet spirit even though their outsides spoke differently. Their covers read of action and drama, but their pages were sweet poetry. They intensely loved people with the great compassion of God and believed in the promises set before them. Their hearts beat loudly; loudly yet untroubled.

Dear one, roar and lead. Be competitive and be direct. Be bold, my friend. But don't worry. There's a gentle heart inside you.

I am an oxymoron in the flesh. A lion, king of beasts, ready to pounce, but whose heart has been stilled by the King of Peace.

Father, create in us a heart that is both bold and gentle for Your Name, helping us to discern the right time for each.

If you'd like to take the Doctor Doolittle test, you can find it here. It's free, quick, and easy. I'd love to hear in the comments what animal you are!

The Fruit Tree

While wandering through my mother's beautiful backyard yesterday I asked her about three craggy trees situated on the border of the adjoining hay field. "When did you plant those trees? Are they new?"

"No, we planted them about ten years ago."

Obviously, I should work on my observation skills.

For whatever reason on this particular visit to my parents' house these trees made an impression on me. For the first time in ten years I walked over to the little grove and explored the small fruit growing on the branches. "Are these apples?"

"No, those are peaches."

Okay....so I'm no fruit expert either. And apparently, I have no common sense.

Intrigued by the peach grove growing for the past decade in my parents' backyard that I knew nothing about I asked, "How do they do? Do you get a lot of peaches (NOT apples)?"

"When Rick was working at the Research Station and he had more time to treat them they did really well. We get some peaches now, just not as pretty or as many."

See, my stepdad is a retired scientist/farmer. He spent many years growing crops at a research facility funded by N.C. State. He figured out how to get the best fruits in the best ways. So that big, juicy summer tomato you put on your BLT today?

Dad says, "You're welcome."

But he retired from that line of work a few years ago and now serves as my hometown's Fire Chief. There's not much time for constant gardening any more.

I'm wondering if the reason I was drawn to the fruit trees was because of Jesus' words in Matthew 12:33 I had just read that morning:

Good trees produce good fruits; bad trees produce bad fruits. 

You can always tell a tree by its fruits.

I think about the fruits that I produce. I think about the Fruits of the Spirit which are feelings and actions that should occur in my life because I walk with Jesus: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

Wow. That list seems wholly unobtainable. Has God even met me? I can immediately slash like, six of those off the list that makes up the person called Jennifer.

Because I try to produce good fruit. I try to bring people to the Lord, try to be a patient mother to my children, try to be a faithful friend, a kind wife, a joyful soldier of the Lord. I try to exhibit self-control with my words, my habits, my checkbook. I try to be good and gentle. Boy, how I try to love.

But guess what? Flat. I fall flat every time. And the fruit that I produce? It looks nothing like the fruit of a Master Gardener. In fact it looks so little like His fruit that it resembles a puny looking peach that could be confused for an apple.

When I am not in contact with my Master Gardener I do not produce good fruit. I mean, I'll produce fruit. There will be some gentleness, some kindness, some love. But it will ultimately look like that peach. A peach with so much fuzzy, juicy potential, but because it wasn't tended by the Holy Spirit that beautiful fruit ended up being so much less than it could be.

Jesus said a good tree produces good fruit. And, quite simply, I cannot be a good tree with good fruit unless I am under the care of an Expert. A Gardener who has the best in mind for me. He knows exactly what I need to produce vibrant, lovely fruit. He supplies me with sustenance and sun. He gives me strength and vitality. He gives me shelter and keeps me safe.

I can produce fruit without Jesus. But, friends - it's bad. It looks like this world and tastes sour. It isn't vibrant or plentiful. It is rotten and sparse. My fruit is only good if I am in the keeping of a Constant Gardener.

A Gardener who has rooted me in love.

I want the fruit I give this world to be bright and just plain good. I can't give that to the world without His care, His closeness.

I may not know an apple from a peach, but I do know this: apart from my Gardener I am just no good. Filled with good intentions, maybe, but I will yield bad fruit nonetheless. John 15:5 says that apart from Jesus "we can do nothing."

So in order to yield this good fruit I will be devoted this day in prayer, in worship, in Bible study. I will live today knowing that I have nothing good to give this world, but, through me, Jesus can create beautiful things. I will be known for my fruit, or my actions (Matthew 7:20). Oh and how I want my actions to be helpful, and generous, and good.

Good fruit from a good Gardener. Bind the tree that is me close to you, Lord. Root me in love, Jesus. And let the harvest be plentiful.

Lord, may it be so.