Seek It Like Silver

One of my favorite books as a child was Anne of Green Gables. I carry many parts of this book with me as an adult. I think of Matthew and Marilla every time I hear the words “brown sugar” and often call my dearest friends “kindred spirits.” Anne taught me that asking questions was good and daring to answer questions was even better.

In this book a delightful question is posed by Anne and that question, for the first time in my short life, made me think philosophically (I was also reading The Babysitters Club, so this was not a common occurrence). Anne asks:

“Which would you rather be if you had the choice--divinely beautiful or dazzlingly clever or angelically good?”

My ten year old self (being the good, church-going girl I was) thought: I’d really like to say pretty, but I guess I need to say good. Because God wants me to be good.

I still think that’s a great answer, but as a grown up girl I think God wants more for me than just being good. So I change my answer. 

I want to be dazzlingly clever. 

Well actually, I want to be astoundingly wise.

See, I crave wisdom. I’m after it every day. And I don’t just mean knowledge or facts or know-how. I want to know the best, most merciful, most Christ-like reactions to any given situation. (Now granted, I don’t always use this wisdom. Just ask my husband.)

Today is Mother’s Day and my pastor asked me to do a watercolor print for all the women at church as their Mother’s Day gift. I knew exactly the passage I would paint because I was extremely excited to letter the word “rubies” in this delicious red color from my watercolor kit. So I painted:

She is worth far more than rubies.

As I finished the scripture I realized I needed the reference, so I Googled it. I was fascinated to learn this verse is mentioned twice in Proverbs, once in 3:15 and once in chapter 31 describing the revered Proverbs 31 woman. Well, if the chapter 31 verse was describing a godly woman, what was 3:15 describing?

“She” in verse 3:15 is describing, you guessed it - wisdom.

When I think of wisdom my mind immediately turns to Solomon, who when asked by God what gift he would like to have, Solomon wisely answers, “Wisdom.” God is so pleased with his answer that He gives this gift to Solomon and also makes him the richest man who ever lived.

So if wisdom is so perfect to have, where does it come from? I mean, can I study and become wise? Can I learn to be wise? If we listen to James 1:5, it says very clearly where the source of wisdom is. Not only does God give it directly to Solomon, we hear this:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

The source of wisdom is God Himself. Scripture clearly tells us that if we want wisdom we should ask for it boldly and truly it will be given to us generously.

Solomon wrote this in Proverbs 2:

My son, if you receive my words
   and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
   and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight
   and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
   and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
   and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
   from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;
he stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
   he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
guarding the paths of justice
   and watching over the way of his saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice
   and equity, every good path;
for wisdom will come into your heart,
   and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
discretion will watch over you,
   understanding will guard you,
delivering you from the way of evil,
   from men of perverted speech,
who forsake the paths of uprightness
   to walk in the ways of darkness,
who rejoice in doing evil
   and delight in the perverseness of evil,
men whose paths are crooked,
   and who are devious in their ways.
So you will be delivered from the forbidden[a] woman,
   from the adulteress[b] with her smooth words,
who forsakes the companion of her youth
   and forgets the covenant of her God;
for her house sinks down to death,
   and her paths to the departed;[c]
none who go to her come back,
   nor do they regain the paths of life.
So you will walk in the way of the good
   and keep to the paths of the righteous.
For the upright will inhabit the land,
   and those with integrity will remain in it,
but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
   and the treacherous will be rooted out of it.

I carry a silver key on my keychain. It has one word on it - wisdom. Because I need to remember. I need to remember that wisdom is a conscious decision. I can choose to be wise or I can choose to turn away from wisdom. Wisdom isn’t about an IQ or an SAT score or a GPA. It isn’t something I either have or I don’t - it’s something that is mine if I choose to take it.

So grasp it boldly, friends. Just as Solomon says, if I want to be wise the first thing I should do is fear the Lord and know just Who’s in charge. Wisdom is actually admitting that I don’t know, but in the same breath saying But I know Who does.

We face that question Anne asks us every day: what do I want the world to recognize me for?

My outside appearance?

My smarts?

My peaceful demeanor?

It is up to me what the world sees when they look at me. And I choose to be wise. I seek it like silver. Because, I don’t know anything. And the admitting of it is exactly where wisdom is found.

All knowledge belongs to my God and He keeps it stored up for me. Not because I’m smart enough to obtain it, but because I simply asked for it.

What's in a Name? ( An Open Letter to My Sons )

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches.

Proverbs 22:1

Dear Wyatt Edward and Morgan Bascombe,

Naming the two of you, being the writer of your names, is my favorite piece of work I've ever committed to paper. That paper being your birth certificates. Your Daddy and I prayed over your names and knew we wanted more for you than to have the cool, trendy "Baby Name of the Year" with the perfect amount of syllables. We wanted your names to reflect your family, your God, and your future.

It's been snowing these past two days. I've had time to sit in front of a fire place with a cozy blanket, wearing my favorite purple knit beret and write to you about your names. Because names are important. They don't make us into who we are automatically, but they give us something in which to aspire. My precious sons, these are my aspirations for you.

Wyatt Edward:

You are unlike any person I know. Your incredible wisdom sometimes causes you great sensitivity and even anger. I'm sure it's confusing to have such insight about such a world at such a young age. (This I write as you are telling fart jokes to your little brother.)

Wyatt means "brave in battle" or "warrior." We chose this name for you because your dad's name means "warrior," too. And this is my hope for you. That you will fight and be brave, carrying the banner of the LORD wherever you go, knowing he is a Rock and a Fortress and a very present Help in times of trouble. Hope and faith in a living God will make you brave. Use these gifts of courage to change the world. You are so capable of it.

Edward comes from your dad's grandfather, Ralph Edward Smith. His middle name was actually Edmund at birth, but he hated it so much he told everyone it was Edward. And I'm glad he did. Edward: "wealthy guardian." Because you are. No wealth in terms of earthly riches...sorry. Your parents are a pastor and a teacher. But in terms of the great love and knowledge of Jesus, you are the Bill Gates of heavenly riches. Billions on this planet yearn for the knowledge you've gained already - that the whole point of this life is to glorify a good and saving God. Guard this wealth with your whole heart. Let it be your treasure. Guard this wealth against impurity, cowardice, and superiority. A guardian knows what his treasure is worth. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21) And how I pray for your heart to be His.

Morgan Bascombe:

You are joy and fun. You are happiness. You are the twinkle in an eye. You are a giggle and a shout all in one. You are a Momma's Boy in the best sense of the term.

Morgan Earp was a younger brother whom Wyatt Earp loved dearly. We wanted you, too, to be a dearly loved brother of a Wyatt. (And you are.) Morgan comes from the Welsh "Morcant," Mor meaning "sea" and cant meaning "circle." A sea-circle. Both endless. When you think of your name, think of how beloved you are to your Mother and Father, how our love for you is as "boundless as the sea." But even more so, remember God, the Creator of the sea who loves you. He considers you a far loftier and beloved creation than any of the waters on earth.

Bascombe is the middle name of my grandfather, Posey Bascombe Glenn. It was also the middle name of his father. Your great Uncle David's middle name is Bascombe, as well. No one else in the family carried it, so we can only assume it came from a family friend or a notable figure of the day. Bascombe is a very old surname. It came with the Normans to England when they conquered it in 1066. Their coat of arms states, "Nothing is too difficult for the Faithful and Brave." And your faith in God's goodness, mercy, salvation, and the hope He brings to all people will provide all the bravery you'll ever need. Fear is not an option to those whose faith is placed in the Lord. "But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." (Isaiah 43:1) You are called of God and have been redeemed by Him. My prayer is that you feel His call all throughout your life and own your rights as a fellow heir of Jesus Christ.

Boys, we do not immediately become the meaning of our names. Some people never know the meanings of their names. But you do. They were carefully crafted while you were being carefully crafted in the womb. Your names call you to great things in the Lord, to forget yourselves and to fight for a Savior who gave His life for you. Time in this world is dwindling away and there are so many who do not know the riches and fullness of a life lived in Jesus. So you, my boys, go and live out your names. You faithful warriors, you guardians, you who are dearly loved.

xxoo
Mommy
January 2016

Picture (Im)Perfect

I have the privilege of living in a charming craftsman home on a lush five acre lot. This home has been handed down for four generations in my husband's family. It was a treasure generously given to my little family and every day I am thankful.

Our home is easy to spot. Actually most people in my town know exactly where I live because my house has existed longer than any living person in our town. And most likely, God willing and the creek don't rise (Yes, literally the beautiful creek nearby.), it will exist long after we're all gone.

The house stands on the corner of a popular cut-through between two well-traveled highways, so in addition to its history, it is also a landmark to travelers in this area of the county.

Because of this renown I'm a complete perfectionist as to what the outside of our house looks like. 

Which is a major problem.

Because the outside of my house usually looks like a wreck. 

In the years since we've lived here we've seen a tornado and a hurricane.

Tornado is almost six and loves baseball and sidewalk chalk. Hurricane is two and likes to pee in the grass and break all potted plants.

Therein lies my problem: a picturesque yard ain't happenin'. At least not for approximately 15 more years when Tornado is paying rent in his own place and Hurricane is enjoying his full ride to Duke. (Let's hope he stops relieving himself in the yard by then.)

Here's the thing: I don't care that my yard is not always mowed. Or that it has an obnoxiously large trampoline in it. Or that it currently looks like a Wet n' Wild water park complete with sprinkler, Slip n' Slide, and baby pool. I love it. My boys love it. They play. We laugh.

But I do care what others think of my yard. I cringe when I create in my mind what others are saying as they drive by.

What a gorgeous home - too bad it looks like a Toys R Us blew up in their grass.

That house has such history - I hate that they let those chickens walk around everywhere. 

(Did I forget to mention the chickens? Their names are John Adams, Darth Chicken, and the red one.)

I'm happy with my home, but I'm not happy with what others think about my home.

And friends, this attitude is not okay. I should not feel the need to apologize for the evidence of healthy, active children and chickens. 

Proverbs 29:25 says this:

It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, 

but if you trust the Lord, you are safe. 

Truth be told I live in a sweet little town. And most likely when people drive by they say, "Look at those precious boys playing in their yard."

But I shouldn't care either way. The only judgement that should matter to me concerning my yard, my decisions, or my life is God's. I cannot concern myself with pleasing others. I must concern myself only with pleasing God.

If the clutter in my yard is evidence of a life lived with joy and love then I am guilty. I need to release myself from the guilt of a home that is not picture perfect. And I need to start taking pride in a life that is picture perfect.

I am so tired of looking at myself through the lens of other people and even the lens of my own, narrow vision. My life is best viewed through the lens of my Creator's eyes. And if I'm in Jesus then when He looks at me all He sees is perfection: the perfection of Jesus. 

One day, in years that will go by too quickly, my yard will be well-manicured and not a baseball field. Toy-free, but childhood free. Full of bright blossoms, but not one broken pot. Not one single kid peeing in the bushes as you drive by. 

So today I will appreciate the clutter and know that God, the only One whose opinion matters, thinks my yard looks pretty fantastic.

Lord, may it be so.

While I Wait

Life is a waiting game.  It seems we are always waiting for something.  I spend more of my time, ironically, waiting for my turn while playing the board game of Life than actually playing the game.

The minute we are born the clock starts counting down for something to begin. Our first tooth, Kindergarten, baseball tryouts, our driver's license.  Our college acceptance letter.  Our first love.

We wait for our careers to start.  For children.  For our children to get a little older so we can take that trip to wherever.

We wait for people to call, letters to come, a table at a restaurant.

We wait for test results.  We wait in line.  We wait for whatever-it-is to start.

We wait and see.  Wait and wonder.  Or we wait and we wander (this is never good).

We wait so often that we have designated rooms for it.  "Have a seat in the waiting room.  The fill-in-the-blank will see you shortly."

We wait until we figure it out.  Wait until things get better.

My precious, beloved grandmother was moved to hospice last week.  She spent many years waiting on heaven.  Today Eloise waits no more.

What are you waiting for, my friend?

I've waited, too.  For a job, for direction, for Life to start!  (What does that even mean?)  I've waited through miscarriages, for a baby to come.

I've waited for summer vacation.  I've waited anxiously for my husband to come home during bad weather.

I've waited for pain to end and happiness to come.

Waiting is a silent force that will not be denied.

So, we wait.

And what do we do while we wait?

What if we used our wait for glory?  Not ours.  But His.

See, I am a city on a hill (Matthew 5:14).  We all are.  Everyone sees I have a light for Jesus.  Is it a flicker or a flame?  A little match or a great torch?  Am I a sparkler in a small child's hand or a firework that lights up the night sky?

They see us.  The world around you is watching your wait.

So how do I make my wait worth it's weight?  Here's my plan:

Trust in the Lord

with all your heart

And lean not on your own understanding

In all your ways

acknowledge Him

And He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I will trust in the Lord - because when has He ever failed me?

With all my heart - because I cannot be lukewarm for Him.

I will lean not on my own understanding - because, honestly, I understand about 0.07% of my life.  The good, the bad, the ugly.   And I'm okay with it because I trust in Him for my ultimate good.

In all my ways I will acknowledge Him - because I cannot expect His blessing if I willingly sin against Him and do not declare Him fully.

And He will make my paths straight.

That last part.  Listen.  In the original text "straight" literally means "plain," meaning to remove obstacles, to show clearly and evidently.  And who will give me such clarity?  

Friend, God Himself will!  

That's a stone-inscribed, rock hard promise from God.  You trust, you obey, and He shows you the way.  

Matthew Henry said, "It is promised.  He will direct thy paths so that they shall be safe and good and happy at last."

It is promised!

Don't refuse your wait, beloved.  Bask in it.  Live it!  It is not for naught if it is for Him.  

Your wait will end.  Whatever you are waiting for will one day come.  Or it won't.  But either way the wait will be done.  Live your wait in such a way that when you look back on it, instead of pity, you feel pride in that even in your darkness you remembered there was light.

I will sing in the stillness.

I will find wonder in the wait.

I will not be moved by not moving.

I will praise the plan before it is put into practice.

God Who Sees My Wait,

Help us to trust in You and lean not on our own understanding.  In all our ways let us acknowledge You.  We trust You to make our paths straight.

Lord, may it be so.