If He Calls, He Equips

I have a clear picture in my mind of my husband watching a softball game this past spring. He's standing on a hill just beside right field, away from the crowd so he could monitor our sons in the nearby playground. Ball cap, jeans, sneakers, he holds nothing in his hands, but they are lifted up to his shoulders as he grabs onto the straps of a black backpack. If you looked inside the backpack you'd find camera equipment, nothing else.

Most people who looked his way would have just seen a dad, watching a game.

But I saw more. Because there's so much more there to see.

My husband is a pastor. I don't know if you know any pastors in a non-pastor way. A family member, an old friend, a co-worker. Pastors are just regular guys. But their calling is hard.

People are hard. We are loyal and fun and smart and genuine and loving. But we are also messy. And my sweet husband does the work of helping people sort out their messes.

He does a good job. A hard job.

So when I look at him, standing on that hill, I see a man asked to a high calling. Taking care of Jesus' people. And in that backpack isn't camera equipment, but he is equipped.

Callings scare us. When we're asked to be bold for Jesus a dozen questions come to mind:

Who? Me?
I haven't been to seminary.
I don't know the answers.
I'm scared of what they will say.
I'm not smart enough.
I don't love enough.
I don't have enough faith.
That's too hard.
Fill in your blank here.

I don't know what you've been called to do, what situation God has asked you to step into. But I do know this, if Jesus has called you, He will equip you.

Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, though Jesus Christ...

Hebrews 13:20-21

I own an art studio. And if you've known me longer than five years, you've probably asked yourself, "Was Jennifer an artist and I just never knew it?"

This question makes me laugh because it is such a good one to ask. I was not an artist growing up. But God asked me to open an art studio. He equipped me with artistic gifts in my mid-30s. Gifts I didn't even ask for. They just appeared. He was equipping me with the talents I needed to open His studio. It still marvels me today when I paint, draw, or letter on a project. I praise Him because it's all His equipping. 

Listen to me when I tell you none of us is special. We are all apart of that big conglomerate of messy people I mentioned before. None of us is perfect, none of us better than the rest.

But there is one thing that sets some apart and that is the word, "Yes." 

Because when we say yes to the call from God, great spiritual work is done in us. Vast doors are flung open from the Holy Spirit and we receive knowledge, peace, and abilities that are not our own doing. 

I think of Acts 2 when the disciples began to preach the Gospel in languages they had never spoken before:

And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them that ability. 

God will not equip me for a task I will not say yes to.

I see my husband on that hill, holding on to that backpack. I see him leading a church, teaching and loving people. I see him leading our family. And I see him standing alone doing it. The weight of it hit me deeply. But then I saw the backpack. And the still, small voice says:

I've called him, so I've equipped him. I've equipped him with wisdom and peace and my very own presence.

And the same goes for you, dear friend. And for me. 

God will ask us to do big things and small things in His name. For our good and for His glory. And we may think that we're just not enough. 

I'd like to tell you that's a lie, but it's not. We're not enough. Our talents and brains aren't enough to accomplish the high callings of heaven. But if we step up to our calling and say the yes, we get the equipment. 

"But my God shall abundantly supply all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus," says Philippians 4:19. 

The riches of Jesus are pretty vast. If I were to dip into His supplies for my calling, I feel certain I would be properly empowered. 

So what's holding you back? Time? Education? Energy?

Or is it fear? 

Why don't you say yes? And watch that empty pack on your back be filled with all you need to succeed. 

Keep Praying

I've been praying... a lot. It's my new thing. My I'm-learning-how-prayer-really-works thing. My trusting-God-to-teach-me-something-new thing.

I pray before my children and husband wake up. I pray after they've all gone to sleep. I sit and talk to God and study scripture. There are moments when I feel so small and inconsequential and then other, bolder moments when I feel my prayers shouting into the very throne room of God.

Last week around midnight, I was feeling small. Little me. In my little closet. Wondering if my prayers mattered.

And there it was, that small obedience-urge. Telling me to listen to the still small voice and do exactly what it said. So I listened. I obeyed.

My obedience took me to a devotional book, a random page with the Holy Spirit prompting me to look at the key verse. And there it was shouting back to me from that Holy throne room in heaven, two small words:

Keep praying.
1 Thessalonians 5:17

With my heart swelling, I began to praise God and pray with all my might. In the darkness of my home, my little closet was the only room burning bright. 

Another obedience-urge told me to take myself, my prayer, and His Spirit and walk my house. 

So I began to walk. Whispering from room to room. In shouted whispers His Name, His protection. Pleading the blood of Jesus over each space and over each inhabitant of our little house on Shadowbrook. As I prayed my arms moved, stretched to heaven in praise, touching walls, imbibing them with God's Holy presence, claiming my home and my family for the Lord.

I reached the front door and touched the top, running my hand over the 100 year-old oak. We have been passed over. We are covered in the Blood.

I circle back to my hallway. I make my way around a door. 

A figure approaches me in the darkness....the figure gasps, startled with fright.

My poor husband. In his jammies. Sleepy-eyed. Hair askew. Jennifer...what are you doing?

Obviously, I'm prayer walking through our house and claiming the Blood of Jesus, husband.

And with his knowledge of the Jesus-obsessed wife he married 12 years ago, he grunts, and returns to bed.

Because. Obviously that's what I'm doing. Obviously.

Here's the thing I want you to know today, friend. Your prayers matter. They are heard. 

But you have concerns, you say? Issues with prayer? They may sound like some of the following:

How do I know my prayers are heard?

When I pray, I feel like my prayers hit a glass ceiling.

I've been praying the same prayer for years and nothing has changed.

I'm scared that His answer will look differently than I want.

I just don't feel like praying today. 

I've messed up. I've sinned. My prayers are no good.

He doesn't speak back to me. 

I can't feel His presence.

Am I saying the right words?

Am I praying for the right things?

Well, my answer to you is simple. In fact, just two words:

Keep praying.

Don't you know who you are, beloved? You are a child of God, made by Him, for Him, in His very image. Never say your prayers are not enough. 

Because He is enough. 

My friend, draw near. Draw near in obedience, draw near begging to know Jesus in a new and radical way. In some moments of prayer you will feel alone and small, but in others...oh, in others, your prayers will shake the very foundations of the earth and shape the very future of it.

Your prayers are powerful. They matter. They can change things. 

But your prayers can't be any of those things if you don't pray them.

Your prayers won't matter unless you pray them.

Simple, huh?

So the next time you think prayer time should be skipped because what does it matter, anyway? Here's the reminder. Two little words, one big message, straight from the throne room of God:

Keep Praying.

Crushed

Have you ever had a bone crushed? No? Well, I have. And let me tell you in case you doubted...it hurts. Like...a lot. Like I've had two babies and the pain of a crushed bone totally trumps having two babies.

I repeat: a crushed bone is more painful than childbirth.

So, how did I break this bone, you ask? A skiing accident? Car wreck? Putting myself in harm's way to save a small child from wandering out into traffic?

Nope. I was a senior in high school and a varsity cheerleader...and I fell off the top of a pyramid.

The ridiculousness of it is not lost on me.

The days and weeks that followed the accident were excruciating. My left foot broke in half vertically and the small block of bone that connects my foot to my leg was shattered into several pieces. I missed weeks of school, took strictly-managed Vicodin to ease pain, and attended three-times weekly physical therapy sessions. I had a cast up to my knee, but it couldn't go all the way around my leg because of the three pins that for 8 weeks stuck three inches out of my foot. The cast instead was held on by an Ace bandage.

But the most heartbreaking consequence of the break was when we told my surgeon where I'd be attending college in the fall: the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. I remember when he, very-matter-of-factly said, "Jennifer, I'm sorry but you can't go that far away. Your leg is still healing, still fragile. And I'll need you around for therapy."

But, I already had my dorm assignment. And a roommate. I was ready to sing "Rocky Top" and proudly wear that obnoxious shade of orange! Peyton Manning expected me to be there!

Bone crushed. Heart crushed, too.

Psalm 51:8 says, "Let the bones you have crushed rejoice."

In this Psalm David is experiencing some anguish of the soul. But David knows God. He knows this crushing of "bone," of spirit was momentarily painful, but ultimately for his spiritual good.

God was allowing David to experience hurt, so he could know greater things and live a better life.

That fall I began my college experience at a much smaller school than UT, a school only an hour away from my hometown - Western Carolina University.

That winter I met amazing friends. Friends who are still dear to me today.

That spring I laid eyes on the cutest boy I'd ever seen.

And four summers later I married him.

If not for my crushed bone:

I would not be his wife.

I would not be their mother.

I would not live this life.

I would not be this person.

We live through painful experiences both physical and emotional. But just like Joseph who experienced slavery, sexual harassment, and wrongful imprisonment we need to believe that God will mean all these things for good (Genesis 50:20).

A crushed bone. A crushed heart. A crushed spirit.

God loves you enough to give you momentary pain for eternal joy.

Almost twenty years after my injury there is still daily pain, still a slight limp, still more surgeries to be had in the future.

But that crushed bone paved the way for the greatest joys of my life.

So when I take that first stiff step in the morning or feel from the ache that it's about to rain or get "Is something wrong with your leg?" from a stranger I say, "Oh, that's just my crushed bone...and it's rejoicing."

Lord, may it be so.

Raise Your Banner

Hang around me long enough and you'll learn this:  I'm madly in love with my husband.  I'm so in love that I still have a crush on him.  I could wax poetic about this man, exclaiming his virtues as father and provider and good smoocher, but my favorite thing about him is his heart for the Lord.

My husband is a church planter.  (I feel like this is a prerequisite for all female Christian bloggers of late.)  He is a trusting and courageous man who listened to that still, small voice when God told him to move.  To say I'm proud would be an understatement.  He was resolute in his desire to do what God asked of him.  And like any person beginning an arduous task, he asked for prayer and guidance from his friends; most of these fellows being pastors themselves. They rallied around Dusty and encouraged him, prayed for him, and counseled him.  Ahhh...having godly friends is golden, isn't it?

I remember vividly one of those encouragements because I thought it was so beautiful.  Nic, who is a children's pastor at Newspring, texted Dusty in the early days of our church and told him, "I want to be like Aaron, holding your hands up as you accomplish the work God has called you to do."

This, friends, leads us to a precious and mighty Old Testament moment.  It's found in Exodus 17 and recounts a battle of the Israelites and their longtime foe, the Amalekites.  As brave Joshua  goes into battle, Moses stands atop a nearby hill holding his staff into the air above the fighting as encouragement to the soldiers and in supplication to God for an Israelite victory.  His staff over the Israelite army served as a banner of sorts, a coat of arms for Yahweh; telling all that this is the cause we fight for:  God and His promises to His people.

As you can imagine, holding a large wooden staff above your head for hours on end wouldn't be easy.  (I have problems carrying more than three bags of groceries into the house from my car.)  When Moses' arms would falter, so would the Israelite army. When his arms remained high, the army would rally and advance with strength. Obviously, Moses and his banner were of utmost importance.  To help him, Aaron and Hur held Moses' arms up for him for the duration of the battle.

Needless to say, with God's help, the Israelites won.  Moses told them to build an alter at the site of the battle and call it "Yahweh-Nissi" or "The Lord is my Banner."

What an incredible thought:  accomplishing a task God has set before you or surviving a great trial or celebrating a victory under a banner which waves declaring:  I fight in the name of the Lord!

Banners are a tradition dating back to the most ancient of times.  For thousands of years armies have ridden under the banner of some king, some cause, or some country be it Attila the Hun, Alexander the Great, the Ottoman Empire, the French Revolution, or the Allies of World War II.  A banner is a fine thing - boldly declaring allegiance, stating a cause, ascribing loyalty.

We can be brave and fight for something too, right?  What banner shall we fight under, friends?  What enemy or injustice is at our door daring us to take up arms?  I serve a God who can win any battle in which I find myself.  A God with many names.  A General.  A Mighty King.  An arsenal of weapons and battle plans in His possession.  Pslam 60:4 says this:

You are a banner to those who fear you, 

so they can raise up for the truth.

I want to raise up for truth!  Can you picture it?  What a glorious idea!  

So what Name of the Lord shall I ride under?  What coat of arms is painted on my banner?

Jehovah-Jireh?  The Lord Will Provide.  (Because I'm struggling financially and I'm scared.)

Jehovah-Rapha?  The Lord Who Heals.  (Because I'm facing a scary diagnosis or nursing a broken heart.)

Jehovah-Shammah?  The Lord is There.  (Because I just need His sweet presence.)

El-Elyon?  God Most High.  (Because I've been running and I need to submit to His authority.)

Quanna?  He is Jealous.  (Because I put other things before Him.)

Or do I just need to hear Song of Solomon 2:4 and remember that "His banner over me is love?"  Because, friend, His love ripples in the wind over you at this very moment.

Did you notice Joshua's arms did not grow heavy under the physical fight?  But under that spiritual warfare?  Boy, did Moses grow faint.  

Friends, we need to call on Him.  We need to ride under His banner.  Because with it raised high we succeed, we win.  But when it falls and we're left to fight the enemy on our own, I promise, we will fail every time.

I would rather spend my life shouting the name of God than whispering my own.

Fighting under my name alone is futile.  It may look like I'm winning in the short term, but the war will ultimately be lost.  I want to raise my banner during battle and declare whose side I'm on.

Dear El Shaddai (The God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People),

Just as your banner defeated the Amalekites, I need your banner to defeat my enemy, too.  You are many things to those who call on your name, but above all you are Yeshua - because you "will save your people from our sins."  Yes, I will ride under the name of Yeshua, of Jesus.  The sweetest name I know.

Lord, may it be so.

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