What's My Motivation?

Back in the day (those being the late 90s) I considered myself quite the performer. Shows, school plays, choral performances. You name it, I was in it. Theater. Geek. A, ahem, highlight of my high school career was being voted Most Talented by my senior class.

I know, I know. Be impressed.

Flash forward 16 years and I will tell you that I have not stepped foot to perform onstage in...16 years. Many of my peers have far eclipsed my talent and success in the performing arts.

But, oh, I loved those days. I learned much from them. Things like character development, being in-the-moment, timing, connecting with an audience. And about asking that question we always snicker at when an actor asks it: What's my motivation? Or why is my character doing this? (This was of special importance when I would play the role of "Townsperson" or "Reporter #3" or "Random-Person-in-the-Background.")

We may make fun of this stereotypical question, but it's actually a really great question.

What's my motivation? Or, let's rephrase it for our real life and ask: What's the motive of my heart? Why am I doing this?

Hosea 8:11 says, "Israel has built many altars to take away sin, but these altars became places for sinning." And verse 13 says, "The people love to offer sacrifices to me,  but I do not accept their sacrifices."

I build altars with my life to God, too. Altars of good works and pretty things I've written. Altars of "Look how good Wyatt is at praying!" And "I'm a pastor's wife."

But none of it is good enough to give God. Those altars are faulty and will surely crumble if I don't lay something else on them: my heart.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have aprophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, bso as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 cIf I give away all I have, and dif I deliver up my body to be burned,1 but have not love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

My altars, my sacrifices are no good without proper motivation. I do good things for Him with my life. This is important, yes. But these sacrifices mean nothing without my heart being given, too.

God doesn't want my good works. God wants me. And if He has me then He will, in turn, be pleased with what I've done in His name.

I was thinking this week of the difference between the words 'nice' and 'kind.' If someone were to describe me I would much rather they use the word kind.

Nice is good, but it's just an action: a smile or holding a door open or letting someone with fewer groceries cut in front of you in line.

But kind shows all that plus more. Kind shows the motive of the heart. It shows that the action was given from my heart. That I smiled or held a door or showed courteousness to a stranger because of love in my heart.

I want all things I do for God to be done from my love for Him. Not for recognition. Not for what it looks like to others. Not for the good things it may bring me.

So today I'll ask myself, what's my motivation? And I pray that my answer will be: my heart.

Lord, may it be so.