What I Gave Up for Lent (And It's Not What You Think)

Jesus has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him...

Colossians 1:22

The beginning of a new school year was approaching and I had just been informed of the very challenging student whose name was on my roster. This kid's problems ran the physical and emotional and academic gamut and I was certainly not up to the task of fixing it. 

So I prayed. I walked to their desk and sat in their chair. And I prayed that God would heal it all.

By the year's end I would return to the same spot, and instead of prayers of supplication for this student's healing, I only offered prayers of thanks. Because God did it. 

God healed that child. 

Wide-eyed and in disbelief, I said aloud to the cement walls and florescent lights, "He did it." And then to God, You actually did this thing. That was BIG. An out-right miracle. Why did you do it?

And then came the answer, so simple and so clear:

Because you asked Me to, beloved.

Because I had asked Him to.

Why do I so easily forget that The God of Angel Armies is on my side? Why do I so easily forget His great love for me and His willingness to fight on my behalf?

It's because, even after all these years of this Jesus-Walk of mine, I still listen to the lies. The lies that make me feel less than and not good enough. The lies that Satan whispers in my ear:

You're not good enough for Him.

You don't do things well enough for Him.

You're not worthy to approach Him.

(Never doubt for a second I don't appreciate the irony of God's enemy saying such things about Him to me.)

I realize, even with all of my grace talk for others, I'm still trying to be good enough for God. I'm still striving for perfection and beating myself up for when (surprise!) I don't achieve it.

So with these thoughts in mind, I gave something up for Lent this year:

I'm giving up not being good enough. I'm giving up seeing God as Someone who is angry with me when I fail at perfection. 

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

Romans 8:31-34

Maybe you need this reminder, too. The reminder that your perfection isn't needed. That God isn't mad at you. That God has chosen you for His own. Romans 8:33 declares that no one can accuse us. In fact, it says who would dare accuse us? Do we realize this includes our own selves? 

I'm so tired of accusing myself before my Father. Because when I accuse myself I'm saying that I believe the blood price Jesus paid on the cross isn't good enough. 

Instead, when I approach His throne, I will stand on Colossians 1:22. I will remind myself that Jesus paid for my imperfections and that when I stand before my Father He sees me as holy and blameless. Holy and blameless, y'all. Not no-good and not-good-enough. To Him, cloaked in the righteousness of Jesus, I am worthy. 

We would do well to remember who we are, dear ones. We are the beloved daughters of God, who hears us and keeps us and adores us. Listen to me as I claim these truths over you:

Dear One, God is for you, not against you. He didn't spare His own Son's life for you, so He will not spare any other good thing when it comes to you. No one can accuse you before God because He has made you His own. You have right standing with Him. No one can condemn you. Because Jesus Christ died for you and was raised back to life for you. In this very moment He sits at God's right hand, a place of high honor, and speaks to God on your behalf. 

If that doesn't make you worthy, well, by golly, I don't know what does. 

This Lent, let's practice self-denial. Let's deny ourselves the the feelings of shame and guilt. And instead let's body approach our Father, like the holy and blameless children we are.