Mercy, Not Sacrifice

It was not a good morning. By 9 am I had already made my two-year-old cry. Dude had peed on the floor and couch, stolen my iPad, upturned the box of spaghetti noodles all over the kitchen floor and made me wake up way too early. The patience tank was empty before the car of what was Monday had even pulled out of the driveway. I was exhausted. I mean, so what if I didn't go to sleep until 2 am? I was reading The Thornbirds and Ralph was returning to Drogehda! (If you have no idea what I'm talking about ask your mother. She'll totally know.)

Very little sleep. Angry toddler. Blah-feeling Mommy.

I guess I was just no good that day, right? I mean, what a failure the day was already.

Here comes the guilt. Here comes the I'm a terrible person. Here comes the hardening of my heart.

But it's Monday...and amidst all this guilt and no-goodness-in-me it's blog day and I have to write about the love of Jesus which I'm not really feeling. This is not going well.

But then I remember: "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."

Twice Jesus quotes this verse from Hosea during His early ministry. If Jesus says something even just once it's worth remembering, but if He quotes it two different times then it's probably something I should write down. It's probably something I should tattoo on my arm.

In Matthew 9:13 Jesus is eating with tax collectors and other sinners (I feel like I would have fit in well at this sinner-table). The Pharisees see Him and condemn Him - what are you doing with these low-lifes? And Jesus says, "These are the very people I've come for. I'm here for mercy, not pious perfection."

Again the Pharisees show up to ridicule Jesus' disciples when they pick grain to eat on the Sabbath in Matthew 12. Jesus again tells the Pharisees (who can't seem to get it!) that mercy is more important than ritualistic living.

(Is it bad that I identify with both the table of sinners and the Pharisees? Eek.)

Jesus is quoting Hosea 6:6. Hosea is a book filled with God's people wandering far from Him while He's desperately telling them, Come back to me! I desire to give you mercy! I don't want your empty sacrifices! I want you!

The ISV translation of this verse says that God seeks love, not how "good" you are.

So why did Jesus quote this? Why does He feel it's important to say this verse twice? Our Jesus, who knew His words would be written for the ages to read?

Because Jesus is the mercy.

From the beginning of time God desired to pour out His mercy onto the world. And the day Jesus was born, mercy was born. Where Jesus walked, mercy followed. When He spoke, mercy whispered.

When the blind man asked if Jesus wanted to heal him, mercy spoke: "Of course I do." When the woman with the issue of blood just wanted to touch His hem, mercy actually stopped and touched her.

We are so much more than our faults, friends. We are so much more than our grumpy moods and our bad days. And if we bring our cold, grumpy hearts to Him He is faithful to show us mercy. Because He wants our hearts, even if our hearts aren't having the best day. Even if we feel like our heart isn't a worthy sacrifice to bring Him.

But that's the thing: He doesn't want sacrifice, He wants love. He desires our humanity, not our acts of piety. Because all that perfection and righteousness are never gifts we will be able to bring to Him. Even on our best days. Those are gifts He supplies to us, along with His great mercy.

So my tired, grumpy, hard heart was given to Jesus to fix on that Monday morning. And, wouldn't you know? A little more love crept in, a little more laughter, a little more patience.

There will be many more times in my life when I will give my hardened heart to Jesus to fix. And that's okay because He told me. Twice:

I desire mercy.

Lord, may it be so.